This past weekend The Noise embarked on Atlantic City to witness the last-ever East Coast Vans Warped Tour. While it was obviously a sad occasion to see so many beloved bands take the stage one last time as a part of Kevin Lyman’s world-renowned festival, things weren’t totally grim as each and every artist brought their absolute A-game.
Doing our best to recap the memorable Saturday and Sunday spent out on the beach – yes, with all the sand, seagulls and salty ocean water – we’ve decided to do something a little different. Instead of boring you with your typical 2,000-word concert review meticulously describing each and every artist we saw out in New Jersey, instead, we wanted to try something a little more entertaining. And since there’s nothing more entertaining than award shows (unless you’re the MTV Music Awards), we’ve decided to create and give out awards to all the artists we saw at Warped Tour this weekend. If you like the idea, great! If you don’t, we really don’t care.
To check out who took home the award for Best Use of A Saxophone or Best Band To Have Their Set Delayed Then Totally Destroy Everything In Sight, be sure to look below. Afterward, for more Vans Warped Tour Atlantic City coverage, head here.
Best Band To Watch On The Beach
Dirty Heads? 311? Travie McCoy? Good guesses but those are all wrong. The absolute best band to watch on any beach in the entire world is the band that will protect you from blood-thirsty, limb-hungry sharks: The Aquabats. “Shark Fighter! Toughest man in the sea!”
Best Band To Avoid Seagulls To
If you’ve ever tried to eat lunch on the beach, we’re sure you’ve had to experience the wrath of pesky seagulls as they swarm you and your delicious looking turkey sandwich. Now we all know, the best way to get hungry seagulls to leave you alone is with the classic “flail your arms in the air” maneuver. So which band will get you flailing your arms in the air the most while you slam dance to their brutal beatdown music? Well, that would be Philly’s own Varials, of course. Thankfully for showgoers struggling with seagulls on Saturday and Sunday, due to sound and production issues during their first performance, Varials were able to perform both nights at Warped Tour. Meaning, if you were a bothersome seagull trying to steal someone’s meal, you definitely didn’t want to step foot (or wing?) in Varials’ direction.
The ‘We Waited For A Guest Feature And All We Got Was A Totally Rad Set’ Award
When this particular artist was announced for a hometown Warped Tour appearance, rumors began to swirl all over the internet. With over six years of hopes and dreams on the line of someday seeing a My Chemical Romance reunion, fans quickly gathered at the Full Sail Stage Sunday afternoon to watch Frank Iero And The Future Violents. Waiting for a possible moment where the former My Chem guitarist could bring out someone like Gerard Way or Ray Toro, instead, Iero and his team of talented musicians busted out one of the noisiest and most punk rock sets of the weekend.
Most Jersey Moment
With the last ever East Coast Warped Tour taking place in Atlantic City (also known as America’s Playground for some weird reason, go ahead and Google it), we knew we’d be in for something interesting. Walking on the well-known Atlantic City boardwalk past some of the most popular casinos in the world, you’d think the most Jersey thing we’d come across would be some Guido getting his GTL on. Instead, the most Jersey thing we saw was, drumroll please… former Noise Presents headliners Atreyu covering one of New Jersey’s finest, Bon Jovi. That’s right! The long-time hard rock rippers busted out their classic rendition of “You Give Love A Bad Name.”
Best 20-Year Album Celebration:
Duh.
Best Band To Have Their Set Delayed Then Totally Destroy Everything In Sight (Metaphorically, Of Course)
After an hour-plus evacuation due to the threat of lightning then an additional delay thanks to production problems, Flordia outfit Wage War were in fear they weren’t going to get to perform Saturday night. Instead, after some hard work from stagehands, Wage War took the stage nearly two hours after their originally slotted time and completely crushed it leaving fans in attendance utterly speechless and wanting more.
Most Ironic Moment
This award can also be referred to as the “Dad Joke of the Weekend.” On Saturday, when a well-known Jersey band took the Monster stage literally a football field away from the water, we couldn’t help but chuckle watching – yep, you guessed it – Can’t Swim. So yes, the Most Ironic Moment (aka the Dad Joke of the Weekend) goes out to Can’t Swim for conquering their fears and playing their rowdy set of emo punk music while out looking the ocean. Also, in second place, shout out to everyone who saw Quicksand play on top of actual sand.
Best Use of A Saxophone
While you might think this award is destined for ska-punk vets Less Than Jake or Reel Big Fish, actually, the band receiving this coveted award is pop-punk act Neck Deep. To the surprise of many, the UK outfit brought out their good pal Saxal Rose for a riveting rendition of the band’s smash single “In Bloom.”
The Absolute Coolest Band Of The Weekend
For lack of a better term, there is no doubt in our mind that this band is hands down the coolest band around. Dripping with an untouchable swagger anytime they grace the stage, New York post-hardcore act Glassjaw is without a doubt the coolest band there is. There’s a reason Daryl Palumbo, Justin Beck and company have been one of the most influential bands in our scenes for over 20-plus years. One reason being they are just so damn cool.
Most Epic Moment
Thinking about this past weekend, there are a lot of epic things that come to mind: A Day To Remember closing out day one, an actual human being shot out of a cannon and mosh-pitters flipping over a sandcastle during Varials’ set. However, none of those hold a candle to the memorable moment that took place on day two. At the end of Circa Survive’s sensational set, beloved frontman Anthony Green asked the audience to crowd-surf him about 500 yards into the Atlantic Ocean. The dedicated fanbase didn’t even think twice and took the longtime vocalist out to sea just as he wanted.
